Drunk

Super drunk voicemail message.
It's Raining men.
A girl named Dominic called a guy named Ryan to confess her love (after just meeting him). Slight problem….SHE DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER! Listen to this hilarious, rambling drunken message.
Here is my keep the bra on mentality. You're such a liar, whatever, fuck you, this means something to me. listen…how many ways are there for breasts to go wrong? too many! too many! shh shh. how many categories are there? how many spectrums are there for things to go wrong? Too many. Too many! Every once in a while, things work out well…things work out perfectly, and god knows we appreciate it. But all too often, are men are left standing, "I should have kept the bra on." And what is the motto, what is the typical Jewish motto. Better safe than sorry. Keep the bra on always. You hear this ladies and gentleman…keep the bra on, always!
So did I tell you about Jamie Greene? She decided to try her luck at dice in Vegas. She lasted a whole 10 minutes before she was flat broke, homeless, and working for this less and working for this black guy named Martin Luther King. She sent me a care package the other day, and guess what was in it? Her busted snatch and flat-tire asshole.
… and home hi … noon again how do you know my husband and that relation … you to my husband that's right this is whose wife just doing a background checking on my husband it because he likes to keep secret so I would like to know who you want your friend boyfriend governor interest but hi will be about 4 none of the above would you kindly call me back on my husband's cellphone thank yes I want to first day … another thing my husband Said you don't wanna get in trouble because see the reason the follow if this happening this because Tom Guy on the internet and I was on the computer clients … go decided either to pop up and have a nice 1 chat about my husband saying he knows everything about Him and then it's Justine my husband to get it on the computer Pamela and that he knows anything about my husband my husband knows everything about Him so this is why I'm taking a a very strong interest in who's my husband talking to because … that those and settle with someone [click to continue...]
(512): Dude is Really Hammered, Has Crabs and is Going...
Or my God, listen yet. I'm looking on this got damn website, nice. Even you got jerking with the jerky boys this I add give away, and the first thing that I wanna tell you is that you you're sick, 6 May and I'm looking at it and got damn it, I got the looking at it like you wanna sit around and have some kind. I did some kind of Circle Jerks on top of the night had like it was a cracker well you do get this god damn it, then I'm looking at it. He said upload some voicemails the last week and I pat it's that's ridiculous someways mails. I don't even Lou the the venues is voicemails. I don't know what the you think you are even come in and and like you some kind. I can with the i'm gonna give you did, so I'm gonna give you that have logic, just got damn give it out like a blow job sale is on that. I don't know what your ass like a god, B M, she deal with the Robert ohh son of a damn it. Did anybody, even in your contact. Holy, I got home i got, i gotta go. My balls origin. I gotta get [click to continue...]
Melissa this is Matt Watay… I'm calling you because I'm here with Bruce Angio, Dave Kinzo, we're in Chicago, and you should be here with us. Because we're fucked up, 'I'm hammered'. And, Bruce is hammered. He's, he's already crying like a nancy. You know he already, already wants to go to bed, its like nine oclock. So, you know, and, and, they're on, alright, they're on my ass, because they say that I need some manscaping down below. I have lots of hair below. But its, you know I'm in good shape. 'No its not'. According to Bruce its not. But… 'It needs to be cleaned up'. Bruce says it needs to be cleaned up. You know…That's, all I can say is that Bruce is being a nancy. Its nine oclock and he just, he wont hang. 'You don't need to be bald, but you need to have at least neat and clean'. Bruce says I don't need to be bald, I just need to be neat and clean. Alright well, gimme a call back, and we'll all, we'll discuss this.
Yo, what up Specs? Alright, I have a couple of things to tell you. Number one: you're the best kid in the world man, you're my favorite kid in the world. Number two: like, I'm seriously [muffled] both Ricky and …. tonight. I'm very upset with the situation that just went down tonight. There, I don't know where the fuck it is, man. I'm in fuckin' San Francisco. I just moved here like ten minutes ago man. I don't know where the fuck the kid is man. I'm like. I'm, I'm, like, I'm in the vicinity man. I don't know where the fuck I am right now. Alright, anyways. Ricky is a fucking asshole. Fuck Ricky. Aight. Anyways, anyways, here's what we are going to do. And I expect you to remember this a week from now. There and Ricky, fuck both of them. They're both, they're both going to think we are suppler and then they still are going to think they're vagina see there. Anyways….ahhhh, I'm really glad you are coming down next weekend. It's going to be so much fun, I'm so happy. Its gonna be [click to continue...]
Hey honey … Steve then I'm give me team rande the all right and you … in … in the in the the day … Joe and she is like I need to and then he … at same … it's me again … the love her in … yeah need to … D. love welcome … and.
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