Hey its me, listen I can't understand what this is? I don't know am I puttin' this on right? I don't know I'm following the instructions you put in, in the paper when you sent it…but I don't understand I don't think I have all these little pleasures all together there. I don't know there's somethin' around my…wait hold on let me reach back here. Uh, I don't know am I supposed to look like cat woman or am like…you know without, without the parts…you know, the, the cover for the boobs and the, and the crotch parts. I don't know am I…I'm just not puttin' this on right. Alright gimme a call cause I appreciate you sendin' me this, you know help my marriage and all, but I, darlin' I don't, I don't think I'm puttin' this on right. So, so c'mon, gimme a call. My, my man will be home in about an hour and a half. So you better call me back…alright…or I'll just keep tryin'… alright bye!
I'm so drunk right now. You should really talk to me. Motherfucker. Why don't you answer your phone, did you go to sleep? You dumb bitch. Cause you're a fucking hour ahead of me. You shit. I love you. I'm just kidding. I don't know dude, maybe you're not sleeping. But its 6:21 here, so it's like 3:21 there. In South Carolina. That's really I gotta say. Just. You're probably gonna be mad in the morning when you talk to me. Or you text me and listen to this. So I'm gonna hang up now. I think I called you already but I don't remember. We'll see. Alright. I don't know. Happy New Year. Bye bye.
Dude! So I'm at the storage unit and um, yeah, I took the key. You didn't really ever mention that you were keeping like 80 pounds of porn here. And its not only that its 80 pounds of porn, its that like, some of it is, really, really fuckin' gross. I think we should reconsider our living arrangements.
Hi Bill, this is Rosie from the Road Side Cafe. You left your credit card here… and didn't leave me a tip… thanks … Um, I could be happy to return your credit card but you know I could use some new stuff … um maybe I should call your wife and tell her that your credit card's here, oh that you left here while you were with that young girl… mmhmmm… why don't we just work somethin' out, you call me here okay, thanks bye.
Dude, just finished up another perfect jumbo from Steve's. You gotta check that place out. Its so…fucking…good. Ventura and Sepulveda, Word. Peace.
Hi Mark here I'm on the right or a I got Hung up right and … here right you're probably talk to you about we're a bad day or so … Blow about got a rent right for dial Ran a red Light it's … for a lady that … in palo doctor look around right in probably out about all that other guys get out of the Car got … got a XX that's XX out bye so is I have pair like like like their phone … hello going over there with the ralph … with hi … thanks brian with frank today on my cell bye sorry I missed you you know if you want to bring him hi I'm house and I have X more time … if I don't answer so let's talk about my … last part I can't wait to see have them and I wanted to yes give him like he's got a XX o'clock thanks talk to you later bye out now and I don't wanna loose thanks manika this is jack just doing it with you all right if you are still doing it you all right if you have a minute thoughts on that there is a man everything all right there now I went up I spoke this the [click to continue...]
…you got me fucked up D, I don't give a fuck that you a mothafuckin' flip hoe! Its yo' mothafuckin' fault you a flip bitch! Ain't nobody tell you to go and fuck somebody else's nigga you a hoe ass bitch. And the only reason why I am callin' yo' hoe ass, is cause yo' hoe ass got the fuckin' nigga's number. You got Angel's fuckin' nigga number. You a hoe ass bitch. You just proved yourself a mothafuckin' self a hoe just hangin' up. You ol' funky ass bitch. You better hope I don't catch yo' ass on the street neither bitch! And I want you to send somebody to where I'm at too bitch. I'm gonna beat you, and yo' mothafuckin' homegirls ass and anybody else you bring too bitch!…Now what you ol' stupid ass hoe yeah I called you a flip bitch! You a flip bitch, I'm a turn, I'm a turn all 818s on your ass to flip yo' hoe ass bitch. Fuck, you got me fucked up, no bitch don't fuck me nigga, fuck you hoe! Fuck you bitch with a mothafuckin' long dick down your throat hoe. Tramp ass bitch I'm gonna [click to continue...]
Oh my God dude, I think that my head is going to implode, and explode at the same time. What did I drink last night? And who, how did I get home? Wait a sec…holy crap there's somebody in my shower I'm gonna have to call you back.
Hey pal, got a midterm tomorrow and I have 2 words for you — Need Adderal! Please call me back.
Hey yo what up? Check you're email when you get a chance sent you a couple links from Tech Crunch you should check out, couple apps I think you'd dig…for da iPhone. Aight man peace.
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