Listen closely. Say it with me. "Fresh. Yellow. Peeps." It is that time of year, where you can walk into any Wal Mart, and for .96 cents — purchase a fresh box of yellow peeps. For your eating pleasure. I myself have a box here of freshly opened, riding home from WalMart, eating my yellow peeps. Not the white ones. Not the purple ones. Not a green one. YELLOW. PEEPS. I love em. Gimme call bye.
Oh hello me. You’re not able to get this call. Yeah look this is Walker. This is Walker. This is Wren. I need to Wren to get a hold of Lee, get a hold of Wayne, and all the children. Now this Sabrina has called her Uncle to come pick her up from the house here. Did she call ya’ll? She called ya’ll is that right? She called Big E, and Salem. They down here in Houston. To come down here to pick her up. I don’t know where I could meet, I didn’t know anything about it. Now they askeded me a long long time ago. Could she come. I said yeah. And now I wish you’d see her room back there. Now my room is clean. You saw, you saw how my room is clean. Alright I’m a big man I clean my room up. Now she got here and she got straight now and I don’t think, he go.. now…she is old enough to clean up her own room. And comb her hair. Now she can do that and I’m a big man I have a marriage and different things coming here. Now they come here form Houston to spend some you know gas and [click to continue...]
Hey numbnuts, its Frank Rizzo. You better pick up the phone Jerky. I'm on Facebook, and I see that one of you wise ass punks posted pictures of my fat ass mother gettin' in and out of the fuckin' bathtub. Now when I found out who the hell did this I'm gonna ring somebodies fuckin' neck. All these damn check-ins are fuckin' with my Facebook feed. You understand me Charlie? So knock it off you stupid sons-a-bitches. Call me back knucklehead!
Hey, mama, it's, Joe again so. I just can't get this recipe down. I think I'm missing a step. I'm gonna wrote it down and I went through it again but. Did you say skin it first, and then boil it, or boy next year. Because I have ball in the scanner but when I do that It is it turns the boss. So I don't know. If you have time to call me back tonight, but I'll be here. Just give a ring. I love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Listen here you little shithead. I hear how you treat your mom. I had a good talk with Grandpa and so did Grandpa, he had a good talk with your mom. You better watch what you're saying, just because you;re hanging out with your fucking Dad. If anybody is the fuckin' bitch around here, if anybody should get the fuck outta there, its your Dad. And you? You better straighten up CJ. Who are you to talk to me? You wait till I tell Aunt Jenny, Uncle Chris, and everybody how you're treating your Mom. You better cut your shit out cause you're gonna end up on the street. You better respect your Mom. I don't care who you think you are. Your Mom is your Mom. And you better not be dis-be-respecting her. And you better find out when the hell Jacob is back. Cause Grandpa's the one that called that needed to find out when Jacob is back. And if you're gonna keep talking to your Mom like that you better wait for me, because I'll get there faster than you think. Watch me! You better not be talkin' to [click to continue...]
Three things : One, I wish you were there to witness the faggot festival I saw right before we left Philly. Two, a great time would be to stand around an airport, and watch people run back and forth, trying to get their flights, and finding ways to, like, trip them up, or like, make them think they dropped something or … something crazy like that and lastly, I'm walking next to 3 nuns and penetration is about to ensue. Yes. Yes. Yes.
…you got me fucked up D, I don't give a fuck that you a mothafuckin' flip hoe! Its yo' mothafuckin' fault you a flip bitch! Ain't nobody tell you to go and fuck somebody else's nigga you a hoe ass bitch. And the only reason why I am callin' yo' hoe ass, is cause yo' hoe ass got the fuckin' nigga's number. You got Angel's fuckin' nigga number. You a hoe ass bitch. You just proved yourself a mothafuckin' self a hoe just hangin' up. You ol' funky ass bitch. You better hope I don't catch yo' ass on the street neither bitch! And I want you to send somebody to where I'm at too bitch. I'm gonna beat you, and yo' mothafuckin' homegirls ass and anybody else you bring too bitch!…Now what you ol' stupid ass hoe yeah I called you a flip bitch! You a flip bitch, I'm a turn, I'm a turn all 818s on your ass to flip yo' hoe ass bitch. Fuck, you got me fucked up, no bitch don't fuck me nigga, fuck you hoe! Fuck you bitch with a mothafuckin' long dick down your throat hoe. Tramp ass bitch I'm gonna [click to continue...]
Marsha, I am so freaking out right now. I have lost my acrylic pinky nail, and the crappy part is that the last I saw it was when I was putting in a tampon and I haven’t seen it since. I’m kinda scared…you think that’s bad for me and you know like my stuff? Mmmm…anyway I’ll see you at school tomorrow bye!
"Dave" calls "Vicky" to break off a relationship he's having with her while his wife goes through chemotherapy.
Hi Mark here I'm on the right or a I got Hung up right and … here right you're probably talk to you about we're a bad day or so … Blow about got a rent right for dial Ran a red Light it's … for a lady that … in palo doctor look around right in probably out about all that other guys get out of the Car got … got a XX that's XX out bye so is I have pair like like like their phone … hello going over there with the ralph … with hi … thanks brian with frank today on my cell bye sorry I missed you you know if you want to bring him hi I'm house and I have X more time … if I don't answer so let's talk about my … last part I can't wait to see have them and I wanted to yes give him like he's got a XX o'clock thanks talk to you later bye out now and I don't wanna loose thanks manika this is jack just doing it with you all right if you are still doing it you all right if you have a minute thoughts on that there is a man everything all right there now I went up I spoke this the [click to continue...]
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