Heaaayy. This is dis jar. Come claa to de dare. Noo this not dare. Da clooown dis not tell me yo beck. Mmm boww ing bieetch. CALL ME BACK. Pleeaase. With cheese. Bye.
Yo, what up Specs? Alright, I have a couple of things to tell you. Number one: you're the best kid in the world man, you're my favorite kid in the world. Number two: like, I'm seriously [muffled] both Ricky and …. tonight. I'm very upset with the situation that just went down tonight. There, I don't know where the fuck it is, man. I'm in fuckin' San Francisco. I just moved here like ten minutes ago man. I don't know where the fuck the kid is man. I'm like. I'm, I'm, like, I'm in the vicinity man. I don't know where the fuck I am right now. Alright, anyways. Ricky is a fucking asshole. Fuck Ricky. Aight. Anyways, anyways, here's what we are going to do. And I expect you to remember this a week from now. There and Ricky, fuck both of them. They're both, they're both going to think we are suppler and then they still are going to think they're vagina see there. Anyways….ahhhh, I'm really glad you are coming down next weekend. It's going to be so much fun, I'm so happy. Its gonna be [click to continue...]
Oh my god, I just got home…wooo I'm crazy…fuckin' tired, I'm gonna smoke a bowl. Will you call me and come fuckin' bullshit? And, yeah…bye.
It's Raining men.
Yo, one ok, listen listen to this. You have to put this on your fuckin' answering machine thing on the internet. Alright. I have 3 reasons why. 1. You're a bitch. 2. Cuz you're my brother. And 3. Cuz you're a fuckin' asshole for not answering your brothers phone call. That's fuckin' gay, I'm looking at Zach's here to make out with some chick. Alright. And you're a fuckin' douche for not answering. Gimme a call back motherfucker. Alright? Gimme a call. Peace.
I'm so drunk right now. You should really talk to me. Motherfucker. Why don't you answer your phone, did you go to sleep? You dumb bitch. Cause you're a fucking hour ahead of me. You shit. I love you. I'm just kidding. I don't know dude, maybe you're not sleeping. But its 6:21 here, so it's like 3:21 there. In South Carolina. That's really I gotta say. Just. You're probably gonna be mad in the morning when you talk to me. Or you text me and listen to this. So I'm gonna hang up now. I think I called you already but I don't remember. We'll see. Alright. I don't know. Happy New Year. Bye bye.
Here is my keep the bra on mentality. You're such a liar, whatever, fuck you, this means something to me. listen…how many ways are there for breasts to go wrong? too many! too many! shh shh. how many categories are there? how many spectrums are there for things to go wrong? Too many. Too many! Every once in a while, things work out well…things work out perfectly, and god knows we appreciate it. But all too often, are men are left standing, "I should have kept the bra on." And what is the motto, what is the typical Jewish motto. Better safe than sorry. Keep the bra on always. You hear this ladies and gentleman…keep the bra on, always!
Yo whatup man, this is Josh. I'm just calling to say what's up I just stumbled in my dorm right now. Its like 330 in the morning. Alright gimme a call…later. Peace.
Benjamin, whussup dude. I'm rolling with my friend Alex. And I…Listen listen hold on. Ohhhh, grrr, over here, he just rode a cop bus rig back man. Gimme a call back dude. We're rolling to the bar with a bunch of bitches. Cmon dude, you gotta come up to Mount Pleasant. Alright. Alright later man. Peace.
So did I tell you about Jamie Greene? She decided to try her luck at dice in Vegas. She lasted a whole 10 minutes before she was flat broke, homeless, and working for this less and working for this black guy named Martin Luther King. She sent me a care package the other day, and guess what was in it? Her busted snatch and flat-tire asshole.
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