Yo, one ok, listen listen to this. You have to put this on your fuckin' answering machine thing on the internet. Alright. I have 3 reasons why. 1. You're a bitch. 2. Cuz you're my brother. And 3. Cuz you're a fuckin' asshole for not answering your brothers phone call. That's fuckin' gay, I'm looking at Zach's here to make out with some chick. Alright. And you're a fuckin' douche for not answering. Gimme a call back motherfucker. Alright? Gimme a call. Peace.
Heaaayy. This is dis jar. Come claa to de dare. Noo this not dare. Da clooown dis not tell me yo beck. Mmm boww ing bieetch. CALL ME BACK. Pleeaase. With cheese. Bye.
Yo little bitch, callll me back!
Hey you mother fucker. It's only 10:30 and I am fucked up. I'm not really badly fucked up, but I'm fucked up enough to have a fucking conversation with the black dude in the bathroom who gives you paper towels. Man I gotta big bottle of Jagger, some fucking Coor's Light, and I've got that big box of … watching some girls. It's great, man. And he was here when I got here. Man, I wish you was with us. You and that mother fuckin' fine boat. Anyhow, give me a call tomorrow you dumb bitch. Bye.
Melissa this is Matt Watay… I'm calling you because I'm here with Bruce Angio, Dave Kinzo, we're in Chicago, and you should be here with us. Because we're fucked up, 'I'm hammered'. And, Bruce is hammered. He's, he's already crying like a nancy. You know he already, already wants to go to bed, its like nine oclock. So, you know, and, and, they're on, alright, they're on my ass, because they say that I need some manscaping down below. I have lots of hair below. But its, you know I'm in good shape. 'No its not'. According to Bruce its not. But… 'It needs to be cleaned up'. Bruce says it needs to be cleaned up. You know…That's, all I can say is that Bruce is being a nancy. Its nine oclock and he just, he wont hang. 'You don't need to be bald, but you need to have at least neat and clean'. Bruce says I don't need to be bald, I just need to be neat and clean. Alright well, gimme a call back, and we'll all, we'll discuss this.
I'm so drunk right now. You should really talk to me. Motherfucker. Why don't you answer your phone, did you go to sleep? You dumb bitch. Cause you're a fucking hour ahead of me. You shit. I love you. I'm just kidding. I don't know dude, maybe you're not sleeping. But its 6:21 here, so it's like 3:21 there. In South Carolina. That's really I gotta say. Just. You're probably gonna be mad in the morning when you talk to me. Or you text me and listen to this. So I'm gonna hang up now. I think I called you already but I don't remember. We'll see. Alright. I don't know. Happy New Year. Bye bye.
… and home hi … noon again how do you know my husband and that relation … you to my husband that's right this is whose wife just doing a background checking on my husband it because he likes to keep secret so I would like to know who you want your friend boyfriend governor interest but hi will be about 4 none of the above would you kindly call me back on my husband's cellphone thank yes I want to first day … another thing my husband Said you don't wanna get in trouble because see the reason the follow if this happening this because Tom Guy on the internet and I was on the computer clients … go decided either to pop up and have a nice 1 chat about my husband saying he knows everything about Him and then it's Justine my husband to get it on the computer Pamela and that he knows anything about my husband my husband knows everything about Him so this is why I'm taking a a very strong interest in who's my husband talking to because … that those and settle with someone [click to continue...]
Yo whatup man, this is Josh. I'm just calling to say what's up I just stumbled in my dorm right now. Its like 330 in the morning. Alright gimme a call…later. Peace.
Oh my God dude, I think that my head is going to implode, and explode at the same time. What did I drink last night? And who, how did I get home? Wait a sec…holy crap there's somebody in my shower I'm gonna have to call you back.
So did I tell you about Jamie Greene? She decided to try her luck at dice in Vegas. She lasted a whole 10 minutes before she was flat broke, homeless, and working for this less and working for this black guy named Martin Luther King. She sent me a care package the other day, and guess what was in it? Her busted snatch and flat-tire asshole.
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