Hey you mother fucker. It's only 10:30 and I am fucked up. I'm not really badly fucked up, but I'm fucked up enough to have a fucking conversation with the black dude in the bathroom who gives you paper towels. Man I gotta big bottle of Jagger, some fucking Coor's Light, and I've got that big box of … watching some girls. It's great, man. And he was here when I got here. Man, I wish you was with us. You and that mother fuckin' fine boat. Anyhow, give me a call tomorrow you dumb bitch. Bye.
Yo little bitch, callll me back!
Oh my God dude, I think that my head is going to implode, and explode at the same time. What did I drink last night? And who, how did I get home? Wait a sec…holy crap there's somebody in my shower I'm gonna have to call you back.
Super drunk voicemail message.
(512): Dude is Really Hammered, Has Crabs and is Going...
Or my God, listen yet. I'm looking on this got damn website, nice. Even you got jerking with the jerky boys this I add give away, and the first thing that I wanna tell you is that you you're sick, 6 May and I'm looking at it and got damn it, I got the looking at it like you wanna sit around and have some kind. I did some kind of Circle Jerks on top of the night had like it was a cracker well you do get this god damn it, then I'm looking at it. He said upload some voicemails the last week and I pat it's that's ridiculous someways mails. I don't even Lou the the venues is voicemails. I don't know what the you think you are even come in and and like you some kind. I can with the i'm gonna give you did, so I'm gonna give you that have logic, just got damn give it out like a blow job sale is on that. I don't know what your ass like a god, B M, she deal with the Robert ohh son of a damn it. Did anybody, even in your contact. Holy, I got home i got, i gotta go. My balls origin. I gotta get [click to continue...]
Yo, what up Specs? Alright, I have a couple of things to tell you. Number one: you're the best kid in the world man, you're my favorite kid in the world. Number two: like, I'm seriously [muffled] both Ricky and …. tonight. I'm very upset with the situation that just went down tonight. There, I don't know where the fuck it is, man. I'm in fuckin' San Francisco. I just moved here like ten minutes ago man. I don't know where the fuck the kid is man. I'm like. I'm, I'm, like, I'm in the vicinity man. I don't know where the fuck I am right now. Alright, anyways. Ricky is a fucking asshole. Fuck Ricky. Aight. Anyways, anyways, here's what we are going to do. And I expect you to remember this a week from now. There and Ricky, fuck both of them. They're both, they're both going to think we are suppler and then they still are going to think they're vagina see there. Anyways….ahhhh, I'm really glad you are coming down next weekend. It's going to be so much fun, I'm so happy. Its gonna be [click to continue...]
Here is my keep the bra on mentality. You're such a liar, whatever, fuck you, this means something to me. listen…how many ways are there for breasts to go wrong? too many! too many! shh shh. how many categories are there? how many spectrums are there for things to go wrong? Too many. Too many! Every once in a while, things work out well…things work out perfectly, and god knows we appreciate it. But all too often, are men are left standing, "I should have kept the bra on." And what is the motto, what is the typical Jewish motto. Better safe than sorry. Keep the bra on always. You hear this ladies and gentleman…keep the bra on, always!
Yo whatup man, this is Josh. I'm just calling to say what's up I just stumbled in my dorm right now. Its like 330 in the morning. Alright gimme a call…later. Peace.
I'm so drunk right now. You should really talk to me. Motherfucker. Why don't you answer your phone, did you go to sleep? You dumb bitch. Cause you're a fucking hour ahead of me. You shit. I love you. I'm just kidding. I don't know dude, maybe you're not sleeping. But its 6:21 here, so it's like 3:21 there. In South Carolina. That's really I gotta say. Just. You're probably gonna be mad in the morning when you talk to me. Or you text me and listen to this. So I'm gonna hang up now. I think I called you already but I don't remember. We'll see. Alright. I don't know. Happy New Year. Bye bye.
Benjamin, whussup dude. I'm rolling with my friend Alex. And I…Listen listen hold on. Ohhhh, grrr, over here, he just rode a cop bus rig back man. Gimme a call back dude. We're rolling to the bar with a bunch of bitches. Cmon dude, you gotta come up to Mount Pleasant. Alright. Alright later man. Peace.
twitter facebook myspace