Benjamin, whussup dude. I'm rolling with my friend Alex. And I…Listen listen hold on. Ohhhh, grrr, over here, he just rode a cop bus rig back man. Gimme a call back dude. We're rolling to the bar with a bunch of bitches. Cmon dude, you gotta come up to Mount Pleasant. Alright. Alright later man. Peace.
So did I tell you about Jamie Greene? She decided to try her luck at dice in Vegas. She lasted a whole 10 minutes before she was flat broke, homeless, and working for this less and working for this black guy named Martin Luther King. She sent me a care package the other day, and guess what was in it? Her busted snatch and flat-tire asshole.
Oh my god, I just got home…wooo I'm crazy…fuckin' tired, I'm gonna smoke a bowl. Will you call me and come fuckin' bullshit? And, yeah…bye.
Yo little bitch, callll me back!
Heyyyyaaaaa, so that was a yawn you little motherfuckin' bitch. And answering your motherfuckin' phoooonnne you stupid whore. You better call me in the morning and wake me up. I will stuff a fuckin' 12 inch dick up your ass! Just give me a fuckin', drunk, ugh, you whore! He's getting a 12 inch dick up his ass.
Yo, what up Specs? Alright, I have a couple of things to tell you. Number one: you're the best kid in the world man, you're my favorite kid in the world. Number two: like, I'm seriously [muffled] both Ricky and …. tonight. I'm very upset with the situation that just went down tonight. There, I don't know where the fuck it is, man. I'm in fuckin' San Francisco. I just moved here like ten minutes ago man. I don't know where the fuck the kid is man. I'm like. I'm, I'm, like, I'm in the vicinity man. I don't know where the fuck I am right now. Alright, anyways. Ricky is a fucking asshole. Fuck Ricky. Aight. Anyways, anyways, here's what we are going to do. And I expect you to remember this a week from now. There and Ricky, fuck both of them. They're both, they're both going to think we are suppler and then they still are going to think they're vagina see there. Anyways….ahhhh, I'm really glad you are coming down next weekend. It's going to be so much fun, I'm so happy. Its gonna be [click to continue...]
Yo, one ok, listen listen to this. You have to put this on your fuckin' answering machine thing on the internet. Alright. I have 3 reasons why. 1. You're a bitch. 2. Cuz you're my brother. And 3. Cuz you're a fuckin' asshole for not answering your brothers phone call. That's fuckin' gay, I'm looking at Zach's here to make out with some chick. Alright. And you're a fuckin' douche for not answering. Gimme a call back motherfucker. Alright? Gimme a call. Peace.
Super drunk voicemail message.
Yo whatup man, this is Josh. I'm just calling to say what's up I just stumbled in my dorm right now. Its like 330 in the morning. Alright gimme a call…later. Peace.
A girl named Dominic called a guy named Ryan to confess her love (after just meeting him). Slight problem….SHE DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER! Listen to this hilarious, rambling drunken message.
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